Witches Haven

Voice of a Northern Crone

Dark Lillith asked for the perspective of Crone years.

That last stage of womanhood represented by the archetype of Crone. A time of life when one gets to gaze back on their Maiden and Mother years with bittersweet joy,
or sad regret.

If done well the Crone years can be a time of wisdom. Not all Crones are wise of course. Not all Maidens, are foolish.

It comes down to the individual and what one has taken from life, either this present
or in those that have passed.
But with experience one would hope to see knowledge and wisdom, and usually do to some degree.

I offer this snapshot of myself, as representation of my Crone years.
This says it all.

I love my Crone years.
Of course I miss the beauty, and strength of my youth. I miss the child of my mother years, but I would not go back. Not this life. I will look forward to the next one.

As a Crone, for the first time in my life, I am truly free.
I am free to come and go as I please without answering to anyone. Without responsibility to anyone, and if someone attempts to insert responsibility into my life,
I become quite resentful.

I am free to any friends I want without having to worry about perception, reputation or ulterior motive.

Outside of my husband, I am no longer perceived as a sexual being. That is the reality of that. That's not a bad thing. I can move in all circles. I have male friends of my own age. Young male friends. Many female friends. No one is threatened by me. My friendships with men are true and clean. No one is assuming, what I really want,
or what they really want, is sexual or romantic in nature.

I enjoy the friendship of men. It is the first time in my life, where I have felt truly free to have straight male friends without worrying about how I behave, so as to not give an impression.

I am free to authority.

Women of my generation were not allowed much power in their Maiden years. We come out of the 50's and 60's when women were attempting to insert their power, but were not allowed authority (Rent yourself "MadMen" if you forget, or don't believe that.)

Now today when I stand in a room, my posture, my voice, my entire persona rings with authority. It's not that I really want all that much power. It's just that I am
entitled to it, and it's wonderful to no longer have to demand it.

In my Crone years, I am free to quiet moments of introspection. Mothers are far too busy for that. I am allowed the luxury of sitting back and remembering, and recording, where I have been, what I have experienced, who I have met along the way, what I have seen. Because I lived my Maiden and Mother years ever changing and in the chaotic, I have vast experience to draw on.

In my Crone years I am free to sit back more and observe rather then participate...
if I choose. So far? I do not chose. But I might someday.

In our Crone years we become quieter. We stay home more, we socialize less.
We may not wish to get involved as much.

I am too early into my Crone years to have reached that stage just yet, and I never may. My grandmother certainly didn't.

At the age of 78 she was shocked and horrified to suddenly find herself in the
hospital dying. She really really did not have time for this crap.

She rallied the troops together and everyone had their marching orders.
Projects half begun, had to be completed before she checked out. There were meetings to attend in order to provide her resignation, appointments to be
cancelled. I can still see my dear husband, standing over numerous pickle jars
finishing them up. My mother on the phone with a list of appointments to be
cancelled.

Me running around town handing in her resignation to various women's group,
clubs, and charities.

"No, I am sorry, you will have to find a new President for the book club."
"I don't think you are hearing me, she is going to die! I am sorry that the fundraiser
for the Women's league is in Dec, but you really will have to find a new chairman this year. Seriously. You must!"

She was such a Gemini.

I find myself recording more and more these days. I blog often. I am the one sitting
at every event over there in the corner, recording with video, that is turned into DVD's. I am collecting my life now. I am collecting the lives of others. I don't know why that is, but there is no doubt in my mind, it is a reaction to Crone years.

I have become a collector of experience and memory.
And I enjoy that role.

These Crone years, they are by far my favorite. I was once cute, and flighty and fun. I was once called Mommy.

I have all those wonderful memories of experience, and now I have freedom.

Next: I Own My Life

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